Adventures in Lawn Maintenance

Well, as we are all aware lawns require care. Thus the need for a riding mower to provide that care. George decided that he would gift me with this nice mower to make my weekly mowing experience quicker and easier. So last Wednesday the mower was delivered along with a nice push mower for trimming and a free dump cart (assembly required) to pull behind the mower so you will look cool.

That evening, I carefully scouted the yard for any loose objects, fallen limbs, rocks, bricks, etc. I found to surprise a stainless steel ladle. Why that was in the yard I will never know. What I did not find was a protruding stump, which 20 minutes in to my first mowing experience in years leaped out of the ground and destroyed the mower blade.

Replacing the blade required the removal of the undercarriage, then the removal of the blade. This is about a 40 minute ordeal, resulting in irrational thoughts such as " Oh my god I will never get the &$%^%%% thing back together."  Needless to say the remainder of the evening was dedicated to a trip to Lowe's where I located the section labeled "Mower Blades" and purchased a blade clearly labeled "Fits All Troy-Built Mowers." I then promptly returned to my apartment and went to bed.

The next afternoon I return to the house to install the new blade. Imagine my shock to discover that the blade clearly labeled "Fits All Troy-Built Mowers" does in fact not fit this Troy-Built Mower. Another trip to Lowe's, where I express my disappointment that this blade does not fit as advertised. Well the clerk looks at me and with an expressionless face says, "Sire, you do not own a mower, you own a tractor. You need a tractor blade." Now, I was raised in the county, and my Grandparents were farmers. They owed a tractor. Tractor are used to pull plows, disks, hay balers and the like. They have rear wheels taller the you, and you climb up to get into them. I clearly do not own a tractor. However, Troy-Built in their marketing wisdom realized that suburban men who mow lawns need to enforce their maleness by mowing with tractors.

So having been educated on the difference between a mower blade and a tractor blade, and having been pointed to the section labeled tractor parts. I returned with the proper blade, installed it, and reattached the undercarriage, and spent the next 2 hours careful avoiding stumps. The results of which can clearly be seen. Yes, I have yet to master trimming, that will come later. Thus ends my first mowing experience.